A Letter To My Mother

Dear ma,

Sorry to have worried you when I suddenly phoned you up at past 12AM yesterday just to ask what you were doing. I suddenly sobbed a minute into our convo, telling you I love you and greeting you a happy mother’s day. But darn this network that suddenly went berserk. So here I am, putting all my heart into writing.

Sorry for all the heartaches I caused you. For being impatient and mean. For those beastmode and bratty moments. God knows how much they made my heart heavy. Most times I’d cry. Fighting with you is the very least thing I’d want to do. It’s just so not right. And there you are, always accepting. If people get fed up of my sincere apologies, you don’t. Because you love me and brother that much.

Thank you for sacrificing everything even to the point of compromising your health. You going to Qatar when I was in grade 5 gave you arthritis on both feet that hindered you from walking normally and caused you so much pain instead of granting your wish of giving us good life. For eleven years, we’ve tried everything but not one has made you well and several times you felt hopeless. You even wished to have them amputated. It was painful to see you in such pain. But even when you’re already suffering from that, you never stopped working hard for us. You would go home late at night from selling pillow cases and sleeping beds and struggled hard in walking back home, us not being there for you for assistance. Sorry for those times, ma. I’ve been wanting you to rest, but you wouldn’t because responsibility and motherly love just runs in your blood.

Thank you for sending me and brother to school especially to college even when it meant financial obligations and mental stress. I wouldn’t have been where I am right now had it not been for you. To tell you honestly, ma, every achievement isn’t for me. They’re all for you. Brother as well wouldn’t be where he is right now if not for your help, guidance and unfathomable love. You could have easily given up on him but you never, even if it appeared to him as you being tight and inconsiderate. But ma, know that in the deepest depths of his heart, he loves you so much.

Thank you for always believing in me despite my lack of confidence. For listening to my endless babbles about school, work, crushes, dreams, etc. For taking my out-of-the-blue calls just because I want someone to talk to since you’re the only person whom I can talk to about anything. For monitoring if I’ve already reached the boarding house from work since we’re far from each other and you can’t see me and you can only be pacified with my texts.

Thank you for being my strength during those times when I want to give up. For all the encouragement and jokes you crack in the midst of my disappointments and downfalls. For being my constant companion. For always being with me and brother.

Thank you for telling me that I’m beautiful even when the world sees the contrary. For being my number 1 fan. My best friend. My living diary. My everything.

You are my inspiration, ma. The fuel that drives me every single day. The vitamins that invigorate me. You are my everything that I couldn’t ask for more. But then, you want me to have my own family despite me telling you in advance that I might not be getting one. I remember, just recently, I phoned you up early in the morning saying, “Hey ma. I’m having nausea right now. I think I’m pregnant,” and you just laughed saying, “That’s good.” I know it wasn’t just because you trust me that much, but because you really want me to have a baby. Haha. Well ma, His will be done. Not mine. We’ll see. We all know He’s got great surprises. 🙂

Thank you for every single thing, ma. I couldn’t be more grateful to God for giving you as my mother. You could have easily left us just like what father did, but you didn’t. You stayed. You love us even more than you love yourself. So many times you told me you would get crazy if something bad happens to me and brother.

Words aren’t just really enough but still, thank you, ma.

Thank you for telling me that you’re lucky to have me as your daughter. But ma, I’m luckier to have you as my mother.

Remember when I told you I’d rather go first? That’s because my world revolves around you and without you, it will come to its end.

I love you ma. Brother and I do love you very much.

Happy mother’s day.

And to all mothers who might be reading this post, happy mother’s day. You are our hero. This world won’t mean anything without you.

We love you.

mama and I

With the love of my life.

With all my love,

Your daughter

P.S. I miss you and brother every single day and I’m coming home. We don’t have to be separated again. ❤

 

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