Keep Holding On

You know the feeling when you all work and pray together to reach that one same goal only to find out later that you succeeded while the others fell short. Victory and happiness is totally incomplete. The thought of you celebrating while the others hurt holds a part of your heart back from feeling victorious. You all worked together for that. You all felt the same way many times on that journey you shared. It is selfish not to feel the same way for them this time when they didn’t ALMOST made it.

The good thing is that they are not quitters. They may have been broken (that’s what makes us stronger anyway, right?) but the more driven they’ve become. And when you finally hear the good news that they finally nailed it, you also finally find the missing piece of that incomplete happiness you felt before. 🙂

Ladies and gents, let me hand you over to a very good friend of mine whose faith and story of perseverance is just inspiring. 🙂

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Hi, I am Sandra Polloso Entero, CPA. I just passed the CPA Board Examinations held last Oct. 3, 4, 10 and 11, 2015. It was actually my second try for a particular subject. Yes, SECOND try. I first took the Exam last May 2015 and unfortunately, I was conditioned. I had to retake one subject that had an average of below 65.

At first, accepting the fact that I did not make it on the first take was terribly difficult. That instance has greatly affected and stirred my emotional and spiritual being. I could still remember when my friend texted me saying that maybe God has greater plans for us as she also did not make it. At that moment, my mind was entirely a blank space. I wished I could disappear like a bubble into the air. I did not know what to feel. I wanted to ask WHY?? I did my best. ALL of my BEST. I studied harder than I ever did in my entire student life. I also religiously prayed. My FAITH was as its PEAK during my review. I offered sacrifices for me to be worthy of what I was asking for. Yet, I was still conditioned.  Human as I am, vulnerable to life’s tricks, I couldn’t help but question GOD. My mind tells me that everything happens at the right time but if I can only talk to GOD, I would really want to ask HIM the biggest question that only HIM can answer. However, GOD works mysteriously and all that we can do is to wait and be marveled by HIS plans.

My family and friends have been my great support. I wonder how they easily accepted it. My brother even tried to make the fun out of it and joke it out. However, it really hurt. It hurt to the extent that I started to doubt and lose faith.

Despite of what happened, I had no time to stop and wander around other places to wind up and figure out or search for the answers or perhaps the reasons why I did not pass the exam. I had to gather myself and continue to strive. I had to move forward despite me losing faith hoping that in the end, that great faith will return.

I tried applying for a job because we are financially unstable in the family. I did apply for a good number of companies for an accounting position but I never received any feedback from them. Again, I asked WHY???Am I that unworthy that even small companies don’t hire me? Everything at that point seemed to tell me that I am good at NOTHING. It made me think that I have never exceeded nor met my family’s expectations of me. I reached the point when I started questioning my capabilities and doubting myself. But then, I have to be strong – my parents are counting on me. I had no choice but continue until I was hired by a BPO company. I accepted the job. I worked in a field which was entirely opposite and unrelated to my course. I never planned for such but I had to take the opportunity. I had to work and earn.  I was grateful that I had a job but it was never easy for me. Working overnight and sleeping all day was all new to me. Not to mention the stress and pressure that I had to endure. I even reached the point of quitting my job, looking for a job in relation to my profession and passing the CPA Board Exam. It came to my mind that I have to fight and redeem myself. I came to a point that I felt like a warrior and that everything was part of the battle towards becoming a CPA. And so, I decided to retake the subject (that conditioned me last May 2015 examinations) on OCTOBER 2015. I was determined that at this time and with GOD’s WILL, I will pass.

Indeed, I made it. I passed.

Throughout this entire experience, I have realized that we could never fathom GOD’s wisdom and that He has plans that we can never understand.  All we have to do is BELIEVE for HE will surely take good care of EVERYTHING. (Amen to this. :))

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Our catholic prayer meeting speaker once said to thank God for unanswered prayers. Why? It’s because He has plans better than ours. In Ate Sandra’s case, the answer to her prayer was not granted right away. She was hurt that she almost lost her faith. The good thing was that she was able to rebuild that faith because she knew she’d be nothing without Him.

We may have fervently prayed for something in our lives and got a “No” from Him but a “Yes” sometime later. The answers to these prayers are delayed (or at times are not granted at all) because He has a great purpose on hand. He has a perfect time for such (a greater plan than what we have prayed for) and He is teaching and training us for something along the way. Our God is a very loving and gracious God. He knows His plans for us. Great plans (Jeremiah 29:11).

To some of our dear friends, who after their second try, still didn’t make it, do not be weary. Do not be afraid of what others may think. It’s not because you’re not smart enough; you are brilliant. It’s just because you are being honed. Do not think that maybe becoming a CPA (or whatever profession you’re in-progress of) is not for you – how come you survived the deadly college years? You should have failed in one of your qualifying exams if it’s not really for you.

Yes, it may have been a year, you’ve fallen short the first time and again on the second. You worry about the long span of time that’s taking you, but it’d be all worth the wait. And to you who think that God doesn’t hear you, so long as what you ask is not of wrong motive (James 4:3), do not lose heart. As Avril puts it in her song (which is so beautiful if viewed spiritually), Keep holding on // ‘Cause you know I’m here for you I’m here for you // Just stay strong // ‘Cause you know I’m here for you I’m here for you. And as Hillsong puts it too, For in the power of your name // All things are possible

Wait patiently. Wait in faith. (Not with, but in).

God sees you work hard, struggle and hurt. God sees you at all times. He knows how you feel. He knows what you need even before you ask of them from Him. He is always with you, especially when you call on Him. He takes over, especially when you surrender to Him. He wants you happy. What kind of father wants to see his child suffer?

GOD LOVES YOU.

Whatever problem and failure you may be experiencing, remember that.

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I’d like to share this very powerful article, btw. I just came across it when a friend shared it on her FB. Please do take time to read it: When God Makes You Wait

Also, I happened to have come across my college professor’s inspiring post. You got to check this one out! A Letter To Those Who Didn’t Make It In The CPA Board Exam

Lastly, here’s a link to my personal testimony: Trusting HIM

Have a blessed rest of 2015! 🙂