If Only

I have everything in this world.


Money. Fame. Friends. Family. Women.

Just everything that I couldn’t ask for anything else.

Yet, I feel incomplete.

Even if I claim that I have everything, there’s still something that’s missing.

So I journeyed to search for it.

Have been to Europe, France, Korea, Japan, and to all the places and corners in the world.

But I still didn’t find that thing that could fill this emptiness in me.

And I gave up.

So there I was, driving at the speed that could send me to jail.

I had countless shots earlier and I felt like I was out of control.

The next thing I knew, there was a loud screeching noise and a steady blowing horn that drew closer.

Then everything went black.

After what seemed like eternity, I feel unbearable hotness penetrating through my skin as though I’m going to burn and melt any minute!

And I hear voices shouting in agony, others crying for help.

I open my eyes.

I am surrounded with flames.

I try to wake up thinking that it’s just a dream.

But I’m not waking up.

Everything is real.

I am in the place I used to believe never existed.

I am in hell.

And so I start screaming.

I want water! Cold water!

But I see none.

Just flames.

Agonizing flames.

Then I slowly look up.

I see You.

And I cry to You, begging You to come down and give me a hand.

But You say there’s nothing You can do.

So I fall on my knees, sobbing.

What I searched in all the corners of the world is finally revealing itself to me.

But it’s too late now.

All my life, I was missing one thing.

And it’s You, Lord.

Well maybe You’ve been calling on me, but I was just so deaf.

Oh, Lord, please forgive me! Please do.

And I break down again in tears knowing that it’s too late.

I should have sought You on earth, Lord.

But I was so attached to the temporal world and its pleasures.

I never had time on You. Never really did.

Now I have to taste the tormenting price.

Well, I deserve to be here.

But I am not happy with that. Who would be?

Because happiness actually means finding Your kingdom and being with You up there.

If only I could turn back time.

If only.

And to you who’s reading this:

You don’t want to end up here with me, do you?

– Nothing Follows –

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