Trusting Him

Today, I will share with you how God moved in my life this year.

After graduating last October 2014, I worked at a BPO industry to help my mother with her financial problems that were incurred during my last year in college. I also enrolled in a review school for the May 2015 CPA board examination but rarely attended the review classes due to the work I’ve engaged myself with, which consumed almost all my energy, thereby always leaving me strained at the end of the day. Reviewing by myself was really a great struggle because my number one enemy was drowsiness so that many times did I resort to drinking liters of coffee (literally, haha). Then when graveyard shift finally came (I was handling a New York account), I became a walking dead.

Consequently, taking the exam became a blur. Passing it became impossible. I have had a lot of changes of decisions as to taking it or not. I was really indecisive. Until one time my mother and I decided to just take the exam on October 2015 and wait for my regularization at work before quitting it (so I won’t have a bad record). That morning as I strolled down the street after shift, I was trying to talk to Him. “Sorry Lord. It’s not that I don’t trust you. I just don’t trust myself. Basing on my performance during the first preboard, I won’t make it on the actual board. It’s just me, Lord. Not You.”

So I worked hard with review no longer in my priorities. I’ve always disliked this course and so working as a customer service associate (which has always been my dream since 1st year college) was a relief. I fell in love with my work especially that it was an avenue for me to meet people who’ve become dear to me. I was then focused with work considering as well that I was the only one working in the family. It was difficult to quit my job in those times, but had I, we could’ve been in deep debts again.

Until one time, something just struck me. With a sudden realization, I finally decided to take the exam on May. I figured out that I was just afraid of failing. I worried about what people might say. I worried how my love ones would feel. I was very negative. I worried TOO MUCH and that was very coward of me. Fueled with that realization, I went on AWOL by the end of February (sorry, not a good influence here but, yeah) to try to focus on reviewing. When I was finally experiencing a serious one, I realized that I was very behind and that there were boat-loads to catch up. With that, even after I have filed at the Professional Regulation Commission, I wanted to retreat. I had limited time, very limited time, and the exam was then fast approaching. Some full-time reviewees and magna cum laudes even fall short; would you expect a no-extraordinary one (ME) not to? My case was really hopeless so that three weeks before the dreaded exam, I went to the adoration chapel and for heaven’s sake, cried. From then on, I visited the said place, heard mass and prayed the rosary every single day. I surrendered myself to Him. I felt relieved. I stopped worrying.

The exam was for four days. On the second day, I remember crying over P1 when the room was finally empty after the exam. I felt like all the hopes left me. I was depressed and fear was like an anchor that weighed me down. That night, I dropped by at the adoration chapel and cried my heart out. Human as I was, the fear of not passing the exam crept in my heart. But then, after letting go of what I felt, I submitted myself to Him again, this time, trusting Him a hundred and one percent, and allowing His will to be done. I felt so light after that. Then came the third day and the hardest subject of all – Practical Accounting II, which they dubbed as the killer subject. It was truly the hardest. I dedicated a lot of my time for it only to realize after the exam that I studied in vain. Even our expected topnotcher, John Lester Lastimosa, who actually placed 9^th, expressed how hard the killer subject was. But to my amazement, I didn’t worry at all. Seriously. P1 was even bearable than P2 but I cried over the former. Yes, the third day was really mind-blowing, but I didn’t seem to care. I believe it’s because of the confidence I had in the Lord.

Then came another hard moment, perhaps the hardest – waiting for the results. I was honestly not feeling any nervous at all until my brother and I clicked on a search result for the list of passers on Wednesday afternoon. As it loaded, I felt my heart skip beats only to wind up with a “Still processing” statement. Whew! That was just aaaaaaargh! It was really nerve-wracking. Then, on Thursday night, my mother and I were already on our bed when she suddenly showed me a txt message from a close friend that said “Congrats Mel, you’re now a CPA.” To cut the story short, I passed the board exam.

PRAISE THE LORD!

Honestly, I wasn’t really shocked. It was even my mother who really cried tears of joy after we have confirmed the news by searching for my name in the freshly-published list. I was just calm but silently thanking the Lord. Somehow, despite the hopelessness, there was a part of me that knew I would pass. I believe it’s because of the confidence I had in the Lord.

If you ask me, it’s not luck. It’s the Lord. Despite how vague my chance of passing the board exam was due to the situation I was in (I remember even just studying the subjects Auditing Problems and Business Law & Taxation on the night before their scheduled date, yes, that was how unprepared I was), the Lord was so gracious to make me beat the odds. The Lord’s just so good. Out of the 5959 who took the exam, 2132 passed. I could have been part of the difference. I could have just been conditioned if not really failed at all. But the Lord made me pass. It was His way of showing me His greatness. Jeremiah 32:27 says, “”I am the LORD, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” Until now, I’m in awe of what He’s done. Passing the exam was very impossible, but He made it possible.

Now here’s my point.

If you just submit yourself to Him with no reservations, He’d be there for you no matter how hopeless you think you may be. You just have to hold on to that faith and more importantly, surrender yourself to Him. You’d be amazed once His plans will reveal to you.

And to the future CPA’s, here are some tips for you:

1. You just have to know a little about everything. As what our professor once told us, “The board exam is like a lake; mile-wide but inch-deep”. So, get the basics of a certain topic and jot it down on your notebook. Summarize topics on your own way. Don’t rely on your knowledge of the topic. Trust me, you’d forget it about three weeks later (unless you have a photographic memory or you’re a genius). Pen is always sharper than the memory. 🙂
2. Manage your time wisely. Allocate time for studying and unwinding. The latter is very important. Please DO NOT confine yourself just with all the reviewers and stuff. You don’t want to have an unsound mind after the exam, do you?
3. When you feel stressed out and tired, put your earphones on and listen to mellow or Christian songs. Music therapy, that is. It’s pretty much effective.
4. If you want to be productive, stay away from whatever that distracts you.
5. Make a time table. But be sure it’s realistic and attainable. I’ve actually tried this many times, but many times I failed.
6. Post notes in front of you with inspirational quotes to fuel you up when you feel burned out or giving up. Also, think of your parents who work hard for you. Think of those you love. Make them proud.
7. Think positively. Yes, law of attraction. You can have a sticky note on your wall that says “I’ll top the board exam” to help set your mind. Or silently chant “I will pass the board exam this (date)” with focus. I did both. Haha. Stay positive, dear. Don’t allow a space for negativity. It will just swallow every positivity in you.
8. Keep your eye on your goal, not on the obstacles around it.
9. Ask people and saints to pray for you. Do not forget to go to confession. Also, have a priest bless you for this particular undertaking.
10. Pray the rosary and hear mass. Pray with all your heart and with all humility. Also include in your prayers your co-reviewees and friends. Don’t just pray for yourself. Pray that you will all pass the exam. And lastly,
11. TRUST HIM. “For with God, nothing will be impossible.” – Luke 1:37
12. But if ever you’ll fall short, there’s a reason for that. God is good. He wouldn’t put you to that situation for nothing. There has to be a reason. And as the famous Jeremiah 29:11 says,

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

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CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MAY 2015 CPA BOARD EXAM TOPNOTCHERS AND PASSERS!

TO GOD BE THE GREATER GLORY!

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Let me all leave you with this verse:

“Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.” – Mark 11:24

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